Taking a break from being stressed out about my essay.
I wrote a dialog, it comes from some song lyrics I like but also some I just made up.

Are you okay?
No.
What's wrong?
I just want someone to tell me that it will all be okay, it will all workout.
It will all be okay, it'll all workout.
I'm so stressed.
I'll be your crying shoulder; I'll be the greatest man of your life.
You were on my mind at least nine tenths of yesterday but I still don't see the point in living.
If you want to kill yourself remember that I love you. Call me up before you're dead and we can make some plans instead.

Also, here are some lyrics I love:
If you want to burn yourself remember that I love you
If you want to cut yourself remember that I love you
If you want to kill yourself remember that I love you
Call me up before you're dead and we can make some plans instead
Send me an IM, I'll be your friend

hey guys! thanks so much for all the support about the friends and dinner thing yesterday.

but to everyone who said that "they sound like rotten friends" they really aren't. i probably made it out to seem a lot worse, and agree with someone who commented that its true people feel awkward when not everyone is eating. and, no offense to my friends, but since they did gain a lot of weight and i've lost a lot, i could understand why they would be uncomfortable. and YES we did all hangout afterward and it was fine.

today i've done WONDERFULLY! i managed to make food with my parents (they had pasta) and i made a tofu dog and a salad with romaine lettuce and 22 cals of dressing. all for a total of 77.5 cal for today! i'm planning on not eating anymore today to make up for my mini binge of 600 cals last night :/

I MISS BOSTON!!! 10 more days!

~liz xo

ps- im doing whatever it take from now on to lose 10lbs in 10days. even if its water weight, i WILL lose the 10lbs! the last 3 days i'm here i'm fasting (the parents will be out of town) so hopefully i can do it!

LOVE YOU ALL!

 Hello ladies!

My name is Capri, I'm 16. This is my first post, although I used to belong to some community around a year and a half ago. Coming back because..of the new year? I want to really get my feelings out and get my weight back down. Recently I've gotten very involved in a few sports (competitive cheerleading, volleyball, track, ect.) which do require more energy, but I'd like to not look like a body builder! Haha. But I do have more muscle, and I'm currently around a size one. So here are some stats, I'd really love to be feeling good and stable by spring break, and I'm so excited to talk to everyone! (:

Height: 5'5
CW: 126
HW: 130
LW: 105
GW1:115
GW2:100

So I think I'm going to start doing the master cleanser for 20 days and 20 more if I feel ok.

I've decided to actually update my journal everyday and please, I really really need motivation. What I'm asking is just for a few friends to add me so when I do update with results, my schedule, attempts, whatever, knowing that someone is actually reading would really mean a lot to me. Also, I really want to do this for someone else. I know that doesn't make sense, but I find it much easier if I'm doing things for someone else. Then I actually feel motivation and a sense of responsibility to get things done. I've just kind of been low on the list of my priorities my whole life which is probably why I never treat myself well, etc. But that's another story. I'm trying to change that, but for now I just want to stick with what I know - which is how to please others. So even if it might not have any effect on your life reading my updates or whatever, I guess it will mean a lot and be a lot of motivation if I know that by not doing it I will be disappointing others in a way. Thank you so much! =)

- Lauren

 oh my god
boca vegan burgers are only 100 cals each

i think i found my source of nutrition for forever.
i think im officially going to go 100% vegetarian :D 

Hello there : )

I just love reading all of your posts.
Every single one of you mean a lot to me and I take all of your posts to heart : )
With that being said, I hope you all had a great day!

I got some good news... I joined a gym!
I'm so excited : ) I'm gonna go tomorrow and I can't wait!
Today's been an alright day. I'm runnin on eight hours of sleep in two days so I'm reeeal tired lol. I had 540 cals, I guess I'm okay with that.

It's snowing like crazy here so I'm praying for a snowday!
Time for a shower than it's off to bed.

Goodnight loves : )
x

hi everyone. im 17 and new here! ive been ana mia for about 4 years. im clinically depressed with anxiety and add.im perscribed to welbutrin sr which helps me supress crazings.  i need a buddy!!!!! today so far ive eaten- 1/2 cup special k. 3 bottles water. 1/2 peice of lasagna cause it was my gmas bday :(. and 4 glasses of wine. 
ugh i feel horrible not a good day at all  

ht: 5'3
cw: 118
 hw: 120
lw:95
gw1:112
gw2:107
gw2:100

hey, how is everyone?
i had a great day, just had a packet of snack a jacks and some special k about 2 hours ago, quite happy :)
does anyone have tumblr by the way? x

Since the day I found this comm XD

I'm sorry I've been posting so much today, it's just I feel so.....alive. I want EVERYONE to feel what I'm feeling right now.

I'm on Day 7 of ABC.

265/300

5 cal pickle
20 cal cauliflower
120 cal veggie burger patty
120 cal breaded haddock

I went to the gym and burned 500 cals + plus a little bit of weight training.

And I still want to do more!~ I didn't know I could feel THIS pumped after the gym. I just might go play some DDR and do some sit-ups.

It's 9:00pm. The end of day 7. In the last seven days I have dropped 10 lbs. Mind you I have twice the amount of weight most of you girls have...but still. I feel accomplished. I haven't felt like this for a long time. Food has lost all it's appeal and I feel I could live off of pure positive energy. I know this can't last forever so I'll enjoy this moment while I can.

If anyone is interested in what I did for the last week, here's the journal I've been using to keep track of my progress. If it's online I feel accountable:

http://community.livejournal.com/ana_mia/4735807.html

This is getting kinda long so I want to end with a Thank You.

You girls inspire me to stick with restricting.
You girls push me to break my habitual purging.
You girls are my determination.

I may never have met you, but I love you.

Stay Strong <3
God bless.

total of 761 today.
still pissed cuz that was forced.
i cant wait til i leave home.
the good thing is it was all before 11 this morning.
so with the exercise tonight, and all the running around at work today
itll be alright.
i hope.
and im not doing dinner.
if i do, itll be soup.
peace.

stay strong ladies!!
xoxo

the only one who is so far into their ED, and aware what exactly it does, harmful wise, to their body that they are insanely afraid that they will never be able to stop... even if they really wanted to....?

weighed in at 115 at night after dinner. today i had a banana, 6 almonds, ice coffee, and a tuna sandwich on 70 cal bread (2 slices). i feel huge but my mom forces me to eat dinner. my therapist keeps making me nervous about losing weight apparently she said as i lose more weight i could have a seizure but i have weigh ins and blood tests monthly to check electrolites and i have been staying at a stable weight of between 112 to 115. now i just want to get back down to 112. so i'm hoping since i was 115 this morning and i just weighed in at 115 and i stopped eating at 6:30 i really hope that i will weigh 114 tomorrow. i'd be happy with that because i haven't weighed that in a while. it was weird i couldn't even eat the other half of my sandwich but i really cant just be eating like 400 cals a day. i did the whole 500 calorie a day thing for 6 months and lost like 15 pounds and i'm 5'3" so that makes a big difference and my metabolism slowed and i want to feel healthier and not have to worry about going into impatient or getting to that level. even though my bmi is not near that level yet and i just would be happy being around 112 and less. i'd feel better and more comfortable at that weight so i just need to stay out of the kitchen tonight. get to bed early and then hopefully weigh 114 in the morning. has anyone ever felt like they just cant eat more than 300 calories sometimes like they have to force themselves? i get depressed so that causes me to not be hungry. hope you all are well xoxo think thin

weighed in at 115 at night after dinner. today i had a banana, 6 almonds, ice coffee, and a tuna sandwich on 70 cal bread (2 slices). i feel huge but my mom forces me to eat dinner. my therapist keeps making me nervous about losing weight apparently she said as i lose more weight i could have a seizure but i have weigh ins and blood tests monthly to check electrolites and i have been staying at a stable weight of between 112 to 115. now i just want to get back down to 112. so i'm hoping since i was 115 this morning and i just weighed in at 115 and i stopped eating at 6:30 i really hope that i will weigh 114 tomorrow. i'd be happy with that because i haven't weighed that in a while. it was weird i couldn't even eat the other half of my sandwich but i really cant just be eating like 400 cals a day. i did the whole 500 calorie a day thing for 6 months and lost like 15 pounds and i'm 5'3" so that makes a big difference and my metabolism slowed and i want to feel healthier and not have to worry about going into impatient or getting to that level. even though my bmi is not near that level yet and i just would be happy being around 112 and less. i'd feel better and more comfortable at that weight so i just need to stay out of the kitchen tonight. get to bed early and then hopefully weigh 114 in the morning. has anyone ever felt like they just cant eat more than 300 calories sometimes like they have to force themselves? i get depressed so that causes me to not be hungry. hope you all are well xoxo think thin

so...besides my insane morning with battling with cinnamon rolls....

my mom brought me a chicken sandwhich and i ate 1/2 purged. waited ate the other half and have kept it down bc my heart is starting to hurt. that was the thrid purge today already - i can't handle another one. so the sandwhich was like 500 cals so i guess i kept like 350 in. besides what ever else i didn't get out of the cinnamon rolls and i had i stick of cellery and a few bottled water, green tea from starbucks and two candy straws....

ugh

oh and when my mom dropped off the sandwhich my husband was at my job and he was like what is that? did you ask for lunch? and i go well yea mom was asking if i ate already and for her to get me something so i told her chicken sandwhich then and he was like oh gosh why didn't you tell me to get you something when i was out? your mom is gonna be mad at me and call me and ask why i haven't fed you and that i need to watch you again. and i go "sheesh! you all are acting like i'm suicidal!!"

what is that? they need to "watch me"? shesh.

anyhow i have a doc appointment tomorrow to get some check ups done on myself, thanks to my mom setting them up, and when i go to colombia i'm going to a specialist down there as well and when i get back i'm going to the nutritionist. *sigh*

i thought this site was interesting its for wannerexics if that is even a thing. anorexia is not something you want to have trust me but this site is intriguing. check it out if u want http://everything2.com/title/How+to+become+a+better+anorexic

H

 i've been fasting for 3 days now, and i NEED to weigh. but i'm scared. how much can i expect to have lost, i'd really like a rough estimate?